Boere Computer Dictionary from South Africa



This is an absolute CLASSIC! Only a South African will understand it!


Monitor

Keeping an eye on the braai

Download

Get the firewood off the bakkie

Hard drive

Trip back home without any cold beer

Keyboard

Where you hang the bakkie and bike keys

Window

What you shut when it's cold

Screen

What you shut in the mosquito season

Byte

What mosquitoes do

Bit

What mosquitoes did

Mega Byte

What mosquitoes at the dam do

Chip

A bar snack

Micro Chip

What's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips

Modem

What you did to the lawns

Dot Matrix

Oom Jan Matrix's wife (classic!)

Laptop

Where the cat sleeps

Software

Plastic knives and forks you get at KFC

Hardware

Real stainless steel knives and forks from Checkers

Mouse

What eats the grain in the shed

Mouse Pad

Where the mouse takes the grain it does not eat

Mainframe

What holds the shed up

Web

What spiders make

Web Site

The shed (of op die voorstoep)

Cursor

The old bloke what swears a lot

Search Engine

What you do when the bakkie won't go

Yahoo

What you say when the bakkie does go

Upgrade

A steep hill

Server

The person at the pub that brings out the lunch

Mail Server

The bloke at the pub that brings out the lunch

User

The neighbour that keeps borrowing things

Network

When you have to repair your fishing net

Internet

Complicated fish net repair method

Netscape

When fish maneuvers out of reach of net

Online

When you get the laundry hung out

Off Line

When the pegs don't hold the washing up



Floppy Drive

When you take your plaas wekkas to the clinic . .

Blog

shortened version of Braai Log

Virus

the reason your wekkas go on a floppy drive to the clinic

Anti Ė virus

the medication the wekkas get at the clinic

Virus protection

free condoms for the wekkas at the clinic

Stiffy

what happens to the wekkas when the anti-virus doesnít wek